more babies???

David and I were talking tonight right before we were going to bed about more babies. I had said that if we had four boys instead of four girls and it was me asking to try one more time, would he still be wanting to try again.
What if the tables were turned and we had four boys and I was saying..."Please Hunny, can't we just try one more time for that girl?" I wanted to know honestly what would be his response and he said that yes, if i wanted to try one more time for a girl when we had four boys he would go ahead and try one more time.
I think he is full of crap. That is the honest to goodness truth. I just don't want him to be dissapointed because he didn't get his boy. Don't get me wrong, I would love to have more children. I am not sure if we could afford any more. But I love having kids and who wouldn't want to have a dozen more. I always wanted to have a big family but I just don't want him to be dissapointed.
I know he loves his children. I want him to have his boy, but not at any cost.
I have my limitations. He says it is all about wanting to pass on his family name and I know what guy doesn't want to have a boy. He has these expectations of what it would be like to have a son and so do i but we can't keep having babies just to keep trying for that boy. I will be praying a lot about this in the months to come. We have come to a compromise on the cirumsision issue. Our pied said that it was strictly a cosmetic thing. So I think having her say that to him just helped my case on that issue.
I know he will love the baby(s) just as much as he loves the others. That is not the question here. I just want to make sure that his heart is in the right place.
I am going to make him do some major soul searching on this one. He says he has already made up his mind but I have been living with this man for ten years and I think that i know better.
I guess that it is not really that big of a deal since I know that he will love the baby(s) with no question. I guess i am just questioning because i am not sure how I feel about having more. I always say I want more but the truth is i am not sure. I am leaving it up to God. He knows what I can and can't handle. God never gives you more than you can handle. I never thought that I would be able to handle having twins but I think that I have done an okay job. I love being a Mom. It was what i always wanted to be when I was a little girl. I love my job and i woudn't have it any other way. I say job because raising four kids is a full time job. It is the most rewarding job I have ever had and don't ever want to do anything else. David is the best Daddy and Husband a woman could ever ask for and I am lucky to be a part of this family. Right now I am just thinking of my Mom and how she showed me how to be a great mom. I want to thank her for that. Now that i am thinking about my Mom I am thinking about David's Mom, Shirley and how I would like to thank her for being such a great Mom. I don't know her but I see her work as a Mom through her son. I tell my Aunt Sue all of the tme when she is complaining about her boys not picking up or helping her out around the house that by her not setting them straight and getting on to them she is making them to be bad husbands. Some pore girls some day are going to have to work there butts off for the first couple of years to mold these boys into good husbands. That is not the way you want to spend your first years of marriage. Am I right ladies? Well, I got off topic again. I am a talker. I can't help it. It is my ADHD.I have things that I feel I want to say and what beeter place to say it than in your own journal.
PS. I miss my sister. I don't know why I am thinking about her right now but I am and I would just like to say HI to my sis. Missin you in TX. I wish I could just take a few days off and just come see you. Maybe I will talk to David and see what he thinks. You, Me and the great state of Texas. (no kids) :)
Just us. I think I deserve it. Especially since my trip to DC was cancelled. :(
Oh well there is always 2008. Also I think the bag pipe band is wanting to take a trip. That would be fun again. They are a great group. We went to NYC in 2002 I think? I can't remember if it was 01 or 02. Anywho it was a lot of fun.
We are going to the parade in St. Charles on Sunday. That will be fun. The kids love the parades.