I get a lot of grief about my pareanting chioces so here is an article I wanted to share.
Little Amanda Peterson wouldn't stop crying. From 1 until 11 p.m., the infant wailed despite every effort of her worried mother, Amy Peterson.But when a child has colic, there's not much a mother can do but let the baby cry it out.Or so Amy thought.Desperate to calm her daughter, Amy sought advice from a breast-feeding support group in the California town where the Petersons lived before moving to Jerome. And that, Amy said, is where someone gave her a book that forever changed her family.It was a text by William Sears -- a pediatrician who coined the term "attachment parenting" to describe a child-rearing method that advocates strong parent-child emotional bonds.In a nutshell, attachment parenting encourages responsiveness to children's physical and emotional needs. When a baby is hungry, feed it. When a baby wants to be held, hold it."It's a common sense approach," said Summer Stout, leader of the Twin Falls chapter of Attachment Parenting International, an organization founded in 1994 to advance the movement's ideals.Common sense or not, Amy said she'd always been told to let babies cry and feed them only at certain times. But when she took the advice in the book, little Amanda suddenly stopped fussing."If I carried her in a baby swing or nursed her when she wanted, she cried less," Amy said. That's all the evidence the mother needed to buy into the attachment parenting tenets -- which include sleeping in the same bed as baby."It's the traditional style of parenting," Stout said.Perhaps. Attachment parenting promotes breast-feeding, co-sleeping and avoiding prolonged separation -- all practices common years ago."People get caught up in trends," said Stout, whose API chapter of about a dozen families is one of only a handful in the Pacific Northwest. "We're being trained out of our intuition, and it's tragic."But sleeping with infants is not exactly mainstream today -- or intuitive to many parents, especially older moms and dads.When Amy's mother heard baby Amanda was sleeping in the master bedroom, she was shocked. What are you doing?"Just wait," Amy said. "There's a method to this madness."On the next visit, Amy's mom bought in, too. Amanda hardly fussed at all anymore. And Amy and her husband, Arnold, seemed more rested and relaxed.Still, doesn't sleeping in the same bed with infants seem, well, dangerous? A recent American Academy of Pediatrics report warns that bed-sharing with infants can be harmful -- even fatal.However, that doesn't deter attachment supporters, who cite other studies that show breast-feeding -- which API encourages mothers to do while co-sleeping -- reduces the risk of sudden infant death syndrome."Parenting doesn't stop at 8 in the evening," Stout said. "Babies aren't projects. They're people. And they don't have wants -- they have needs."Another tenet: If parents allow babies to cry themselves to sleep, they're not teaching them to sleep -- they're teaching them to give up, Stout said. By nurturing children when they need it, parents teach them that they're loved and cared for.And that, say attachment parenting advocates, makes all the difference. API claims research shows that babies who sleep in rooms away from their parents and are left to cry are more prone to social and behavioral problems later in life.That may be, but the Petersons practice attachment parenting because it seems natural. "I can't imagine parenting any differently," Amy said. "Our house is so peaceful."Since reading the Sears book about 10 years ago, Amy and Arnold have had three more children: 8-year-old Ryan, 4-year-old Cody and 7-month-old Steven -- all raised under attachment parenting principles. Amanda is now 11.But does holding them whenever they cry or feeding them whenever they're hungry produce needy, indulged children?No, said Stout. When children know they're loved and supported, they're more independent and social.Amy agrees. She said her children are more mature and better behaved than their peers, and she hears it from teachers and friends.There are times, however, when a crying baby isn't all bad."If we hadn't had a fussy baby," Amy said, "we wouldn't have got into attachment parenting." And that, she said, would have been a shame.Times-News features writer Matt ChristensenWanna know more?To find more information about attachment parenting, log onto Attachment Parenting International's Web site
http://www.attachmentparenting.com
Don't knock it till you've tried it. Amy :)
